I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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