I want to make a zoo with you.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
