Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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