He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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