i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
