Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
