I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
