ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize