I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
