just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
