I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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