I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
