Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think weed is turning my hair brown
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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