I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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