When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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