her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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