hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
