Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
