But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Enjoy the penises
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
