I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
