i don't like sucking hair
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
