Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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