It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
