My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
