I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
