I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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