i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize