i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
