if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
