That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
