nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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