i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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