what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
