So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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