You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
