i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
