He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
