Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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