You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
