You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
