Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
