I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
