I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm both gender and math confused
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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