Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
