Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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