He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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