I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
