omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
