You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
