thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
