I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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