States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
