I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
