My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
