am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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