I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She even gives head with a lisp.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
