I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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