Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
