Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
