508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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