matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
