come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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