Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
