living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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