Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
