The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
