that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I deserve this hangover.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
