But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
